Number 255

Yo mama so fat when she got on the weight machine it said I want your weight not your phone number.

Number254

 Yo mamma so poor, she was kickin a can down the street i said wut you doin ,? she said movin

Number 253

"Most folks are about as happy as
they make up their minds to be."
- Abraham Lincoln

Number 252

We're lucky poodles migrate south. Al

Number 251

 The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
Vince Lombardi

Number 250

The only way to find the limits of the possible is by going beyond them to the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke

Number 249

Life is like a library owned by the author.
In it are a few books which he wrote himself,
but most of them were written for him.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

Number 248

Life is what you make of it. Always has been, always will be.
Grandma Mary

Number 247

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink. ----W.C. Fields

Number 246

Nature has given to us the seeds of knowledge, not knowledge itself.

Lucius Annæus Seneca

Number 245

If you have a pear shaped body, you should not wear pear colored clothes, or act juicy.


Demetri Martin